So of course the thing about going camping, even for only three days, it that it takes FAR more than three days preparation to get you ready for the off. I have a friend at work who simply gets in his car and goes (mind you, he runs up mountains with his tent on his back, my tent weighs 32kg and comes in it's own suitcase with wheels...) another friend has a campervan ready packed, just add milk and family and off you go. I am starting to believe that I am one of the most disorganised campers, perhaps because I am a somewhat reluctant canvas dweller. I don't, for example, generally travel more than 2 hours to go camping, in case the weather is too inclement, or the toilets too "festival" and I have to come home in a hurry. I don't camp in persistent bad weather, I also don't camp before about June or after September which kind of restricts trips on the basis that I don't do cold OR wet once I'm in bed. (to which end I take my goose feather pillows and duck-down duvet.)
And so here are the sort of things that come to mind when I am preparing for a camping holiday with the children:
Firstly the realisation that the tent is going to stink to high heaven because I put it away wet last August and never got round to opening it up again and now it's the following June (that was last year and this year)
Opening up the tent in advance of the trip, ostensibly to air it, to find a rat has crawled into the creases, died, and there is an explosion of maggots and an unholy stench as you take the thing out of the suitcase (last year, I haven't tried it this year)
Getting all the way round the M25 before realising I haven't remembered the tent poles, not the pegs, the actual poles that hold the thing together, thus necessitating a U turn at the M23 and an hour and a half BACK through the rush hour to fetch them. The knock on effect of this was no beans and sausages round the camp fire that evening, no ice cream by the sea, rather chips from the chip shop 2 miles from home and putting the tent up in the dark, which at least provided entertainment for the other campers. (last year)
And so this year, my already full to bursting brain, is not only trying to cram in ALL the extra things we need to take, but age has commanded that, as I add something to my brain, I have to drop something else. Therefore I may remember the incense and the drums, but I will almost certainly forget the tin opener or a towel. And that's the other thing, other campers take the bare essentials which generally means food, cooking equipment, tent, sleeping facilities etc etc, I have to take bunting, incense, drums, candles and candle holders, carpet (for inside the tent), gnomes (for outside the tent), flags (also for outside the tent), my "Love" and "Peace" signs that are hanging in the lilac tree....you see? I can't camp without these things, and to add to my ever growing list this years particular trip requires us all to dress as faeries. Yes, even me. And my son, much to his disgust. He's indicated that he will probably be dressing as a pirate instead which will be fine, at least I think that's what he meant by waving his "Legoland" cutlass under my nose and yelling "NEVER!" when I suggested wings weren't just for girls.....
Of course it was never really looking good for this weekend. I'm breaking two rules before we've even left - the campsite is 4 1/2 hours away on the Devon Cornwall border, and the forecast is rain, rain and showers...... we're all doomed!!
